10:16 pm, let me out

I feel trapped in my own mind.

I want to say, “I’m sad”

I’m restless and mad

I want to cry

And scream and shout on the top of voice.

I just want to let the agony out

I don’ t want it in me

I don’t want it suffocating me

With its death grip around my throat

I want to say, “I’m not okay.”

But I can’t.

I can’t because people will say,

“You’re different now.”

Or they’ll ask me,

“Why are you sad? You have no reason to be.”

I don’t blame them.

I’m not sure myself

I mean dad left with another woman

And mom is sick

But it’s fine.

It doesn’t matter to me.

I have to be strong.

I can’t be sad

I can’t be restless or mad.

I can’t cry.

If I do then I’ll become weak.

So I’ll put on a happy face

I won’t let them know

That I can’t breathe

That I hate the way I look

And the way I think.

No one will know that I care

Or that I feel trapped in my own mind

I feel trapped in my own mind.

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